You’re not alone
Lots of guys feel pressured to pick a role. But intimacy can be wide and creative — and it can still be deeply satisfying.
A simple page for the Pacific Northwest
Gay sex isn’t only topping and bottoming.
If penetrative sex doesn’t feel right for you, that doesn’t mean you’re “broken,” “not gay enough,” or that you have to force yourself into a role. Many guys are sides — they prefer other kinds of intimacy and sex.
This site is informational, supportive, and respectful. It’s not a hookup service.
Quick definition
A side is a gay/bi guy who generally isn’t into penetrative sex (topping or bottoming) and instead prefers other forms of intimacy.
- Kissing, making out, and sensual touch
- Mutual pleasure without a “role”
- Connection, presence, and chemistry
Have you ever wondered…
…if you’re gay at all because penetrative sex doesn’t feel right? Or felt like your options were “top,” “bottom,” or “nothing”?
You’re not “missing” something
Not wanting penetration doesn’t invalidate your orientation. Desire shows up in many ways: touch, closeness, turn-on, affection, and emotional connection.
You can have great sex as a side
Side sex can include lots of things — from kissing and mutual touch to sensual play that’s fully connected without centering penetration.
What this site is
A starting point for understanding “side” identity, and a friendly place to help side guys in the Pacific Northwest find each other.
Connection-first
The goal is to encourage clarity, self-acceptance, and better conversations — with yourself, with partners, and with the community.
Coming in 2026: more articles, a local-friendly directory of resources, and community options.
Not a role. Not a rule.
“Side” isn’t a box you must fit forever. It’s a helpful word for a real pattern many guys share — and it can change over time.
Everyone’s preferences are valid as long as they’re consensual and respectful.
Want updates when new content lands in 2026?
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Mini FAQ
A few quick answers to common questions.
Does being a side mean I’m not gay?
No. Orientation isn’t defined by one act. Many gay/bi men experience desire and intimacy in ways that don’t center penetration.
Is “side” the same as “asexual”?
Not necessarily. Many sides have strong sexual desire — they just prefer different activities. Some people may relate to both labels, some won’t.
How do I talk about this with someone I’m dating?
Use simple, confident language: what you enjoy, what you don’t, and what you’re open to. “I’m a side — I’m not into penetration, but I’m very into closeness, touch, and connection.”
More detail will live on the full FAQ page in 2026.